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A Woman's Place in the World
Where is my place? I grew up in the Midwest, so that very familiar phrase rushes
back to me like a crashing wave the womans place is in the home. It washes
over me and leaves me feeling small and ashamed that I was born a female. I can
still see the many faces Ive heard say it, even my own family. I can also still feel the
gut-wrenching anger that would well up in my stomach each time I heard this
stifling phrase.
Even as a young girl I wondered why so little was expected from me in life while the
future of all the little boys around me was looked upon with great expectation. It
made me mad. I just couldnt resign my life to such a mundane existence.
How many other little girls have heard this phrase and felt angst from its
implication? How many have succumbed to the resignation I fought so hard to
evade? The degradation of being slighted in life and the victimization that comes
from stolen opportunity are the types of feelings I dealt with growing up in a
fundamental evangelical church in the Midwest. It was a part of my everyday life. We
were told this way of thinking was suppose to be normal, but it never felt normal to
me. It always felt wrong.
I often think about the millions of other women who were slighted throughout
history. Can you imagine how much more advanced the world would be today if
women had always been given the same opportunities as men to advance the areas
of medicine, philosophy, architecture and politics? After all, two heads are better
than one. And two sexes are definitely better than one. How sad that one half of the
worlds potential has been hidden away for most of recorded history.
Barefoot and Pregnant
The old adage mandating a good wife to be barefoot and pregnant is even more
humiliating. It reduces women to nothing more than a tool used for producing a son
to carry on the family name or for working in the field.
However, I can see why men felt so strongly about keeping their women restricted
to the home. First, the man obviously wanted cheap labor, someone to clean the
house, do the laundry, raise the kids (since he was never around to help), cook the
meals, and a sundry of other household chores that would otherwise be his
responsibility.
The only expectation placed on him was to put a roof over the womans head and
food in her stomach and she would do the rest even satisfy his sexual needs. He
was not required to satisfy her though. Since she was his property, he could treat
her anyway he wanted.
Can you imagine what the world would be like if women were as sexually satisfied
as the men? Think about the clear-headed confidence that follows a man around all
day after he has had sex. Oh, that there will one day be as many women walking
around with that same clear-headed confidence that comes from sexual
satisfaction!
Secondly, by keeping the little lady busy at home barefoot and pregnant, the
natural result was her continued ignorance about the real world. This insured a
timid approach to travel, education, politics and working outside the home. If the
woman had shoes, that meant she had the first tool necessary for walking outside
the doors of her home. If she got far enough without the aid of her husband, she
might actually realize her potential and not want to stay at home everyday while he
pursues his own endeavors. God forbid that hed be expected to share the workload
of the house.
Can you believe this type of thought is still practiced in some stricter religious
circles? Even today in the 21st century! However, most of the insidious accusations
of feminine inferiority have all but faded.
Real Change is Slow in Coming
It is now a generally accepted concept that a woman can hold her own ground in the
big bad world. So much positive change has come about in a very short time. Most
women are no longer afraid to leave their homes and even hold down jobs of their
own. They are retail managers, grocery associates, restaurant workers, and
waitresses. They are also lawyers, doctors, professors and business executives. In
fact, many women work as many hours outside the home as their male
counterparts.
Not all has changed though. Many women in the workplace still come home and do
most, if not all, of the household chores. They are still the ones cooking the dinner,
cleaning the kitchen, tending to the kids, washing the laundry, sweeping and
mopping the floors, cleaning the bathrooms, etc. Regardless of the time she spent
at work that day, be it four hours or ten hours, she still returns to the cheap labor
expectations of the home.
The acceptance of true equality is slow in coming, even from the most enlightened
of men and women. When a man expects a woman to do all or even most of the
housework, it is a result of a learned behavior that has not been adjusted to the new
standards by which women are now measured. The fact that the woman allows this
type of behavior to continue without expecting change shows a lack of
enlightenment as well.
In the end, true equality will be recognized by the equal distribution of rights and
freedoms, as well as roles and expectations. The assumption that women are equal
simply because they can vote and work is based on the shallow idea that we should
be happy since our situation is considerably better than it was a century ago. If
better was the goal, then yes, we should be happy. However, equality was the goal
and that goal remains the same today.
About the Author:
Visit Stellas Website at http://www.newsparade.com to read her current articles and to contribute your thoughts on women's issues.
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